Sunday, October 28, 2007

Hello. Yes, it's been awfully long since i last posted. I know. However, I was rather busy during past week because of the year-end exams. I posted today is because i need a source to vent out my anger which is right now all bottled up. The first thing i thought was my blog. Well, because it's a place where you can type whatever you want to. And also I can use this opportunity to entertain you all with my outbursts of anger. Why am I so angry you may ask? Well, that's because of the results. My report book to be exact. I AM VERY EXTREMELY ANGRY BECAUSE OF THAT.

No, it's not that the results suck(they do. However, at the very least I improved.) Yup, I improved. That's supposed to be good, isn't it? People are supposed to be happy ISN'T IT? It's in fact the other way around. My mother is not happy. Yes, she's disappointed. I mean, is it that bad that from mid-year my lvl position increased by like 20 positions? Is it thatHORRID that my class position went up by four? Well, in my oppinion, that isn't that bad an accomplishment. HOWEVER, according to my mother, it isn't. Yes, I know i failed my a.maths. I failed my e.maths. A.maths is a new subject! I'm only taking it this year! And the past records have shown that people who do a.maths don't exactly do EXCEPTIONALLY well.

However, guess different people have different opinions. Her standards are marked impossibly high that no normal fifteen-year old is able to attain. I'll explain why, CANNOT FAIL ANYTHING. MUST GET ALL B's. Some will say, that's easy to get. However to me, those goals are somewhere high up in heaven. I mean shouldn't they be at least HAPPY that I at least improved and beat like twenty people from before? Shouldn't they be happy that i beat 4 people in my class from before? SHOULDN'T THEY? SHOULDN'T THEY? NO. THEY'RE NOT. THEY'RE NEVER HAPPY. Do you have any freaking IDEA how discouraging that feels. It's like I improve, do not improve as long as i fail, it all ends. It all just ENDS. Once she hears i fail one subject she will give me this short cold snort and then she wouldn't care what i say next. God, what she is saying now hurts me. Seriously. You wanna know what she said, "You depress me." Ouch. That hurt. That really really hurt.

Imagine a parent telling you, who is their very own biological daughter, 'you depress me.' No matter how many times they say such depressing things, it's impossible for you to get used to it. Well, for me that is. I just don't know why, i mean maybe they're saying such things to get me to work harder you know? Like try harder and get B's to make them happy. However, when they say such things, do they have any idea how much it discourages us, makes us feel depressed and even worse useless in their eyes?

I know they're saying such things to sort of make us 'wake up', work hard so that we can lead a better life in the future and not suffer. Still, they shouldn't say such things. Oh well, At least after blogging all this I feel better. It was a good idea to post. :) Oh yes, I'm most probably gonna get banned from the computer for the rest of the year so I'm just telling friends and all that if you do not see me online [because i'm FOREVER online.] in Msn Messenger and all, don't worry. I'll probally be back next year [That is if mommy dearest allows me to.

BLOGGED @ 12:41 AM